Hi Akash,
This is my first response of any kind in this site. Previously I used to visit the site and go through various questions and their multiple answers, some of which appeared totally out of this world to me. This query captured my attention and I have been tempted to respond.
First of all, I am no expert and I talk out of a layman’s perspective and maybe, it wouldn’t be much use to you, either. Needless to say, you find yourself in a curious situation, maybe not so uncommon in these days and times. IMHO, you have two options—which I have laid out below. The choice is either to ignore the problem or take it on by the horns, to confront it, to take matters into one’s own hands.
Choice 1-You have described your mom as educated, among other things. Hence it cannot be that she remains oblivious to the intentions and charm offensive of your ‘dear friend’. A working, worldly wise lady such as hers cannot be so naïve. Perhaps, she is into him as well. Logically, it is your dad who should be worried. Since he too appears cool and carefree about things, it could be that the home scene has his consent as well, either implicit or explicit. Your mom is enjoying the attention of a young man and maybe even ready to go the last mile with him, while your dad is enjoying the unfolding of a real life cuckold fantasy before his very eyes.
You haven’t specified the ages of your mom and dad(which would have been good). Perhaps, they are in their forties or early fifties and after going through all the ups and downs that comes with life together, their daily routine has become kind of predictable and stale and what they are looking for is some extra fun to spice up their lives. Who better than a young person with raging hormones to reignite their old dormant memories of fiery passion and jovial companionship ! Like one of the contributors had said, why not let them live their own lives….! Maybe, they deserve it…..maybe it is the right thing to do and maybe it is what a modern outlook towards life entails.
Choice 2-Seeing things from a conservative, Indian perspective, I know the scenario is most uncomfortable/unacceptable to the majority of us. It is not the way we are brought up …. It doesn’t fit in with the ideals we are led to believe in. The second option I would suggest is to confront your ‘friend’ and have a private chit-chat with him directly- man to man. Tell him that you see what he is doing and ask him to lay off, politely-but firmly. Perhaps, that will be the end of your friendship. But let that be. It is better to end it all than agonise over every minute thus by distracting from your own job.
Tell him that if matters were to get out of hand and if your parents were to turn against him, things could get very difficult for him. All it takes would be a complaint from your mom in the local police station and the guy would be cooling his heels in the lock up for some time. Nowadays, laws are extremely favourable towards women and if your friend were to find himself at the wrong end of a complaint, his life would be spoiled for good. Many a failed love and extra marital affair end up such and one reads it daily in the papers. All his big plans could come crashing down and he could kiss good bye to the idea of going abroad which would be most Engineering professional’s dream. Ask him, if that is what he wants or what his parents expect of him ! Yes, this would be sort of an emotional blackmail, but it is the only way. Anyway, extra ordinary situations do demand extra ordinary measures…!
You had referred to “a couple of questionable instances” which led to your stated assumptions in one of your replies. It would be good if you could delve into them and detail them, so that one can form a better picture of the scenario. I guess, anonymity is guaranteed in this site.
Pardon me, if you or anyone else, finds my reply a tad lengthy. I am not sure, if I will indulge in any other.
This is my first response of any kind in this site. Previously I used to visit the site and go through various questions and their multiple answers, some of which appeared totally out of this world to me. This query captured my attention and I have been tempted to respond.
First of all, I am no expert and I talk out of a layman’s perspective and maybe, it wouldn’t be much use to you, either. Needless to say, you find yourself in a curious situation, maybe not so uncommon in these days and times. IMHO, you have two options—which I have laid out below. The choice is either to ignore the problem or take it on by the horns, to confront it, to take matters into one’s own hands.
Choice 1-You have described your mom as educated, among other things. Hence it cannot be that she remains oblivious to the intentions and charm offensive of your ‘dear friend’. A working, worldly wise lady such as hers cannot be so naïve. Perhaps, she is into him as well. Logically, it is your dad who should be worried. Since he too appears cool and carefree about things, it could be that the home scene has his consent as well, either implicit or explicit. Your mom is enjoying the attention of a young man and maybe even ready to go the last mile with him, while your dad is enjoying the unfolding of a real life cuckold fantasy before his very eyes.
You haven’t specified the ages of your mom and dad(which would have been good). Perhaps, they are in their forties or early fifties and after going through all the ups and downs that comes with life together, their daily routine has become kind of predictable and stale and what they are looking for is some extra fun to spice up their lives. Who better than a young person with raging hormones to reignite their old dormant memories of fiery passion and jovial companionship ! Like one of the contributors had said, why not let them live their own lives….! Maybe, they deserve it…..maybe it is the right thing to do and maybe it is what a modern outlook towards life entails.
Choice 2-Seeing things from a conservative, Indian perspective, I know the scenario is most uncomfortable/unacceptable to the majority of us. It is not the way we are brought up …. It doesn’t fit in with the ideals we are led to believe in. The second option I would suggest is to confront your ‘friend’ and have a private chit-chat with him directly- man to man. Tell him that you see what he is doing and ask him to lay off, politely-but firmly. Perhaps, that will be the end of your friendship. But let that be. It is better to end it all than agonise over every minute thus by distracting from your own job.
Tell him that if matters were to get out of hand and if your parents were to turn against him, things could get very difficult for him. All it takes would be a complaint from your mom in the local police station and the guy would be cooling his heels in the lock up for some time. Nowadays, laws are extremely favourable towards women and if your friend were to find himself at the wrong end of a complaint, his life would be spoiled for good. Many a failed love and extra marital affair end up such and one reads it daily in the papers. All his big plans could come crashing down and he could kiss good bye to the idea of going abroad which would be most Engineering professional’s dream. Ask him, if that is what he wants or what his parents expect of him ! Yes, this would be sort of an emotional blackmail, but it is the only way. Anyway, extra ordinary situations do demand extra ordinary measures…!
You had referred to “a couple of questionable instances” which led to your stated assumptions in one of your replies. It would be good if you could delve into them and detail them, so that one can form a better picture of the scenario. I guess, anonymity is guaranteed in this site.
Pardon me, if you or anyone else, finds my reply a tad lengthy. I am not sure, if I will indulge in any other.
