People feel too much insecured when they are too much emotionally attached. I believe you love your wife to some extent that she even doesnot know that. But possiblly your expression is not visible to her.
Your getting too much concerned shows how much you love her, than why dont you make an effort to express that? Men are mostly like eggs, its hard outside but soft inside. No matter hard hard the shell is, it can break, and when it breaks you cant mend that. Before you break, do show your appreciation for her, express how much she meant for you.
First love is strong, sometime is unforgettable, but that doesnot mean when the love comes in front, people forget everything and run for that. It remains as a nice feeling thats all. I think you shouldlet your wife meet the guy, if she loves you as you do, she will soon know what a great thing she has done by not getting married to him in the first place.
I dont think its any uncontrollable situation, all you have to do is be expressive, share time with her like watch TV or spend sometime helping on kitchen. Be there for her, she will be there for you too.
